Getting so excited!

Now that I look a little pregnant DH and I are getting so much more excited especially since my new little belly makes it feel more real to him. The other night he was asking me what changes I had noticed in my body and how I was feeling. He said are you getting excited, because I am. It was so cute. The baby's room is painted, carpet is shampooed, my glider is here and we pick up the crib and dresser/changing table Saturday! I can't wait to see it all together. Its crazy how as a woman you have a general understanding of pregnancy being this wonderful miracle, but it isn't until you are actually carrying your baby that you truly realize how beautiful it is. I can't wait to be a mother and see DH be a father, I know he's going to be great!

Less than

200 days! Woot!

Its a boy!

Per the chinese gender predictor that is. I think the little icon that pops up is hysterical!

I can't take it anymore

I can't deal with my mother's crap anymore. She has a total lack of self control and total lack of disregard for anyone elses thoughts, feelings and wishes. For those of you that are reading this and don't know, my mother is an alcoholic. So she hasn't always been this way, but the alcohol is ruining her mind, body and life. I can't take it anymore, I need to remove myself from the situation. I don't want the stress of it to cause any harm to our baby.

I guess maybe I need to start going to Al-Anon for support. I don't know. I just know that I would hate myself if I turned my back on her and something happened to her. But I have reached out to her (and so has the rest of our family) time and time again and she is in such a state of denial that she doesn't get it. I can't keep doing this anymore. I cringe everytime I see her name on caller id and the times that I actually answer or return her calls the conversations are always so draining and toxic. I guess now I just have to look out for my mental and emotional well being and the well being of our baby...

Furniture

I think this is the nursery furniture we are going to get. The IL's said they want to buy the crib, which is helpful! I love convertible cribs, what a great idea.

Our baby

Has a healthy hb of 150 bmp! I got to see our baby yesterday for the first time and actually got to hear the hb and yes I cried. What an awesome day!

Bleh!

When will this all day sickness go away?! I usually feel better after I eat something, but only temporarily and then like 30 min later I'm nauseous again...DH's comment was you asked for this. Well I don't think anyone TTC really understands what m/s is all about until they actually have it, but I know it will be so worth it in the end. I can't wait for my 1st appt on Tuesday, I'm sooooo excited!

Will I make it?

We're going over to the IL's Sat to celebrate my SIL's bday. Our plan is to wait until after my 1st appointment, which isn't for 2 weeks...I just want to yell out loud "I'M PREGNANT!" I'm kinda nervous about telling my own mom though cause she's a worrier and I'm hoping she just project on me too much. Here's hoping I can hold out!

Bad dream!

So I had this awful dream last night. My mom has a drinking problem and it has been an issue for a long time, but has become a bigger and bigger problem for our relationship over the last couple of years. So I dreamt that I was at my parents house and she was drinking again and we got in a fight and I was balling my eyes out and all of a sudden I noticed bright red blood....So I jumped out of bed and POAS, still + of course since it was a dream and all, but it just felt so real...
I really need to find a way to separate myself from that situation for awhile, I don't want to stress of it to way on me right now. I don't know how my dad and little brother can stand it.

Okay I think I love this bedding, would you consider this neutral? My first instinct was yet, but then I wasn't so sure. We still haven't decided if we will find out the sex of the baby or not. DH wants to, but I don't. Although I'm thinking that if I compromise on that maybe he'll compromise more on names...?

Its so hard to keep such a huge secret!

I want to tell everyone that I know that I'm pregnant! But I know its best to wait a few more weeks because so much can happen...I just can't wait to tell everyone.

Exhausted

I am sooo tired today! I knew it would be busy at work considering one of my coworkers is out on maternity leave and the other is out for a week, but I didn't expect it to be as busy as it was. I hope I can get some good sleep tonight. Its supposed to snow and possibly have an mini ice storm tonight so we'll see how early I make it into work!

To add to my list

40. The fact that I am pregnant!
41. Hanging out with my SIL last night
42. That I have an awesome job!
43. Thinking about holding our baby
45. Thinking about Jeff being a father

BFP!

So I got my BFP yesterday!!!! I was driving to get something to tell DH with and all of a sudden it hit me and I starting crying and saying over and over "I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant, thank God I'm pregnant!" This is a copy and paste from my post on GP of how I told DH:

So when DH came home from work this morning at 7:30 this is what happened:
DH: "what r u doing up"?
Me: "I couldn't sleep"
DH: "what's in the gift bag?" as he starts going through the mail that he picked up out of the mailbox
Me: "Its for you can you open it now"?
DH: "can it wait a second"?
Me: "no, please open it now"
DH: "what is this for"? As he pulls out the I love daddy bib and infant Bengals jersey and a smile spreads slowly
Me: I jumped up and showed him my + HPT and he looked like a little kid on Christmas and hugged and kissed me and asked when I was going to the doctor to confirm and when are you going to test again to make sure...
Now he's off to bed and its just me and the dog.

Seriously!

I am way to good of a friend! My friend is totally driving me crazy. I just sat on her company's stupid online conference call for about an hour and she is trying to get me to buy her company's stupid vitamins and supplements and that the reason I'm not getting pregnant is because I'm not absorbing vitamins and nutrients appropriately. I'm not buying this stuff so please leave me alone!!!!!!!! She's trying to force this stuff down my throat and I don't want it. I'm a nurse and some of the stuff she is telling me and that I listened to on the stupid conference call was insulting to me! Just listening to her makes me want to scream.

DH take my BBT therm please!!!

I'm pretty sure AF is on her way, although my temp hasn't dropped just yet. So I think I'm gonna skip temping this month and just try to BD every other day and see what happens. My SIL said that they tried for a year and then did clomid for 4 months. She said the clomid was terrible and after 4 months of it they decided to just stop the clomid and see what happened and she had my niece. So we'll see!

The first 40 things

of my 100 things that make me happy list:

1. I am alive
2. I am healthy
3. I have a wonderful DH
4. I have an awesome family
5. I have awesome IL’s
6. I have awesome friends
7. I have a job
8. I love my job
9. I have a perfect furbaby!
10. We have a place to call home
11. Reading a good book
12. Watching a good movie
13. Barack Obama is president-elect
14. I have a college education
15. Music
16. I have been on several fun vacations
17. DH & I are TTC
18. DH & I are both excited about TTC
19. Sunset
20. Sunrise
21. I am developing a closer relationship with God
22. We’re going on a mini-vaca with friends in March
23. Christmas
24. Visiting my friend Misty in FL
25. Shopping
26. Spending time with family
27. Spending time with friends
28. Swimming
29. The beach
30. Roller coasters
31. Walking barefoot in the sand
32. Running
33. Holding a baby
34. Playing with a child
35. Thinking about our wedding day
36. A hot cup of coffee
37. Chocolate
38. A glass of wine
39. Taking a long walk with DH

FF

So I think FF is wrong about my O date and its really starting to irk me. My first thermal shift was higher then my second, which I'm still confused about b/c this is the first time I've had two pretty significant shifts. My temp usually will fluctuate a couple of degrees, but it only really fluctuates more than .2 or .3 around O. Oh well, I don't want to manipulate my chart and give myself false expectations. I'm just frustrated because when it changed my O date it also changed my test date by 3 days and gave me dotted CH. UGH!

Ok seriously where must a person look...

For some decent baby bedding? Yes, I know that I'm not pregnant yet and I'm really not some psycho obsessed woman. I'm just a planner and like to think ahead. I did this with our wedding also. Once we started looking at rings I had plotted out most of our wedding ideas. It was great because I had almost everything done in the first 3-6 months of our engagement so that for the rest of our engagement we just got to enjoy being engaged and talk about our what our life together would be like.

So anyway, back on track...I want to be surprised about the sex of our phantom baby for several reasons.
1. I love surprises
2. Because of all the technology now and all the ob/gyn visits you have you know so much about your baby before the big day that I think holding out on that detail will make it an even more awesome day!
3. I don't want to get the motherload of pink or blue gifts...
4. I would be happy with either sex anyway

So I've just been casually perusing the baby bedding online and there is virtually no gender neutral bedding that I like. It is either themed, super trendy/modern or just gaudy. So maybe I'm too picky, which is definately a possibility. I just want something soft and baby friendly, but not plain. I'll keep looking and post a pic if I find something I like and then hope it goes on sale by the time we have a BFP!

BTW~Please post a pic if you have seen something you think I might like, TIA!

Strategic planning

Next week is going to be tricky babymaking. I work 4 (10 hr) days and DH is going back to nights for awhile starting this week, which means I get home at 6:30 pm right when he is leaving. So I usually ovulate on CD 14 or 15, which is next week and he is not off on either of those days! So I guess I'll just have to work the system a little bit and go in a little early and leave a little late so that we can sneak in some lovin' before he leaves for work. Unfortunately, it will probably end up not being very romantic, but I don't want to wait for a cycle that just happens to jive well with our works schedules...